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2006-05-09 - hobby

I'm pretty much ill right now and coughing up...stuff. I feel like shit and I almost slept thru my last painting class this evening. The last final I'll probably every take for the rest of my life was so anticlimactic (last night) it made me want to roll up in the curtains and die. I left the class after being told by my prof that'd I'd have to stop by next week for one part of my pro-paper draft that he's looked at. Ass hole fuckwad. But anyway...it's all about the paper, now. Bend over, Acorn, you're going to enjoy this.

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Amor's playing with our new phones. It's the joyful sound of not hearing him yell at the phone company, the phone signal, the phone tower and/or the phone. Ahh, the hills are alive. I asked him last night if it'd be Ok if we just didn't have phones anymore. The idea sounded so wonderful for some reason.

Amor's taking a picture of my paintings with his new camera phone right now. We could download it for $0.25 or some stupid amount like that. Why can't it all just be for free? We're paying for the stupid phone AND the service AND activation fees, the list goes on and on. But No, they have to charge you. Anyway, I ended up with 3 paintings, all of which I think kick fucking ass, and my next stop is the art store to buy some more yellow paint (for some reason I use yellow a lot, although there really isn't that much yellow in the finished products) and maybe a roll of canvas that I can cut myself. Do I plan on doing more painting? Yes.

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Amor and I had a stupid fight last night and I cried like I've never cried before. I almost didn't go to work today because my eyes were so puffy and red, it looked horrible. But then I wore my glasses instead of my contacts and no one seemed to notice. We made up this morning before I left for work. Yes, we went to bed mad and I fell asleep crying. I was being insane as usual. Amor was being hard-headed and rationalizing himself all to hell, it was making my head spin. I was so angry I stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door so hard the frame cracked, but did not break. There was a piece of doorframe in the hallway this morning Amor and I found together.

We're just all so stressed out from school, all this death and sickness on his side of the family, and then they say it puts a strain on your marriage, but you don't really figure that out until you're in it. I really didn't know what that meant. I thought we could get through this school thing and be all cool about it, but it hasn't been cool. It hasn't been fun. I hate fucking school and what it's done to Amor and I. I hope we recover, I really do. I know we will, but it's going to take time.

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Oh and get this ----> my shrink is breaking up with me! Yeah, can you believe it??!?!? She tells me last week that I need to start thinking about when our last meeting should be because I don't need her anymore. I guess that's a good thing. We also talked about how the relationship a person has with a shrink is not really 'normal'. I mean, who in your life do you tell all your problems to, they listen unbiased, don't ever talk about their problems, I mean, that's not how things work in the real world, and if you do this over time for a long time, it can even be BAD for you. Really? I hadn't thought about this. I went home last Wednesday and felt hurt she wanted to break up with me, and talked to Amor about it a little. SO, our last meeting will be June 21st.

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And another thing, I got my hair so chopped off. I should have gone back to my hairdresser sooner, but I didn't tell you about the last cut he gave me which SUCKED, I had to live with it for a whole month before I got the balls to go back to him and yell at him. So he rewarded me with near-baldness. I exaggerate. It's like a little-boy cut, y'all. It's super-easy to fix and Amor seems to like it. I look cute, but I'll be happy in a few weeks when it grows in a little bit.

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I just asked Amor what he wants me to tell you and he wants me to tell you that I don't hate him anymore, I quit hating him some time ago.

(This is a stupid joke of his. Whenever I get on "The Diaryland" as he calls it, he always asks me if I'm writing about how much I hate him.)

I understand this is not funny to anyone, and I apologize. You're going to have to come visit us to really see the dynamics of our humor. You know how when you've been with someone you really love for quite some time and you just get friggin' silly and retarded?

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