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2006-07-28 - weirdo

Did I mention I'm taking off a week of work to do some damage on the 3rd draft of my paper? I go back next Thursday.

I did about 3 hours of work yesterday. I get so weird when I'm about to work on it, I get all nervous and shaky and Amor says I act like I'm about to go to an important interview.

Yes, I'm a strange one. I'll admit that. I don't think I'm strange, I've just become accustomed to the fact that others think I'm strange.

**************************

Which I've been thinking -----> what exactly is strange? Is it the unfamiliar? I love Hal Hartley and Jim Jarmusch movies, always have since the first time I watched them. People's general initial reaction: wow, those movies are strange. And that's just one example. So many times I'll see art, movies, listen to music that I instantly love, while others define it as weird or strange.

Sometimes I second guess myself and think that I have a problem.

I have lots of self confidence, and then I don't.

********************************

Anyway, beckers-j did this, so I think I will, too. You write 15 statements to 15 people, but don't tell them.

1. I really hope you got married yesterday.

2. You are going to be a fucking asshole until the day you die.

3. Your faith in God is such an inspiration to me, even though I'm never going to believe Jesus died on the cross for my sins.

4. I've missed you so much these past 5 years, my heart is broken. Why don't you call me more? I guess I could call you more, too.

5. T.M.I.

6. You will never know the pain and mental twistings your husband caused me - because he is dead, and what's the point of telling you now? You're 86 years old!

7. Thank you for being a fashion inspiration to me. I'm sorry it looks like I'm copying you, but you should think about how imitation is the highest form of flattery.

8. You are addicted to vicodin, alcohol and nicotine.

9. I'm afraid of what this new job is going to do to our marriage. But I know we can overcome anything together because we have something that cannot be touched by anyone or anything.

10. You suck for not giving me more money for all that extra work I did.

11. I'd be happy with you anywhere.

12. When I asked you if you had anything under your shirt, I wasn't being a sicko. I was just wondering if you actually had a shirt under you sweater or one of those fake collar thingies. You didn't give me a chance to explain.

13. I'm sorry for making fun of you in 3rd grade and making you cry in front of the whole class.

14. I learned how to be a plant person from you.

15. You know me better than I know myself. I just refuse to accept this.

7:42 p.m.

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