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2007-03-28 - mooed at me

I made enchiladas from scratch for my husband last night - it took me about 3 hours. They were really good. I went to bed before him, said Make sure you remember to put the enchilada leftovers away before you crash out tonight, Babe. Well, I woke up this morning, and the basically full pan of enchiladas I had lovingly prepared for my husband to eat last night, and have leftovers for the next day or so, was still sitting on the counter. We had to throw them out, it really sucked. I was pissed off at first, but then pushed the anger out of my head. I've been really good at pushing bad things out of my head lately. After being pissed off for a minute, I said to him, No worries, man. Seriously, it's just food. I can make more, really. Don't feel bad. I know you work 70 hours a week and can't help it if you crash out. He still felt bad, though. He even called me on his tiny break today and told me again he felt bad. I told him, I'm going to make them again tonight. I have to make more chili puree, but that's OK - we're out of it in the freezer anyway. It's time to make more. He knows making chili puree is a big production, but really, I've done it so many times now, it's no big deal at all.

So anyway, I just spent 3 or 4 hours in the kitchen just now, and the enchiladas turned out just fantastic. I even made him some pico de gallo because he was talking about how he hasn't had any fresh pico in a while. He's going to be so happy tonight when he gets home from work.

I always text him when I'm going to sleep, and if I've made food, I let him know.

So now we have tons of chili puree in the freezer. To make it, I take dried chili pods (this time I used Ancho and Cascabel), remove the seeds and stems, toast them on the comal, rehydrate them for about 30 minutes, put them in a blender with some onion, garlic, salt, toasted cumin and corriander seeds, dried Mexican oregano, a little chicken stock, some pureed tomato, and a little salt. It's got to be really, really smooth. Then you take a hot pan, put a little oil in it, and put some of the chili puree in there, nice and hot, BOY does it sizzle and dance - the smell is fucking amazing. It goes down deep into my soul. Wow.

Anyway, so you can use that for whatever you want, chilli, enchiladas, taco bake. I love having it on hand.

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I've been getting into this band called "Client", they have this song called Overdrive that's quite the auditory experience.

I made this radion station with the following artists: The the, David Bowie, OMD, Client, Future Bible Heros and Human League. It's quite the station.

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I rode 82 miles Sunday with my friend DR. It was an organized ride, about 2,000 other riders. I was riding from 8 in the morning until 3 in the afternoon.

Unfortunately, DR is turning into one of those friends....Well, let me first say that you know how you start hanging out with someone and you really like them, but then after a while their true self, their true energy, starts showing thru, like, they've been trying to hide it this whole time?...well, that's what's happening with DR. I'm seeing he's a really angry person, confrontational, (though he's never directed this anger towards me) yet overcompensates with this really boisterous, bubbly, loud, friendly, outgoing personality that's totally overbearing to my psyche. I can't take it anymore. I was telling Amor, and he's like, Well, that's what you get for hanging out with a nerd with no friends. I told you to be careful with him. You always jump head-on into friendships only to find a thousand reasons not to be their friend. But I don't know how else to get to know people, I mean, I HAVE to jump in head-on into the friendship, that's just how I roll. Amor wasn't being mean or anything, just objectively critical. We were laughing a little bit about it, too. I mean, DR is a fucking nerd, he doesn't have any friends, I just didn't heed the warning signs.

Anyway, so he and I drove to the ride together, and there was all this fucking drama before hand, (it's a stupid story, you really don't want to hear about it, it involves DR and another rider that was supposed to be driving with us to the start point of the ride) and I had all this emotional baggage on me by the time I started the ride (plus some stuff that happened the night before which I will enlighten you on next), that it took me *25 miles* into the ride to break thru that wall. The first 25 miles were SO hard, I thought about quitting then and there, it was really weird. And I kept having to meet up with DR at each rest stop (it was an organized ride so they have rest stops every 8 to 10 miles or so where you can get gatorade, snacks, and use the pit privies) and he was really getting on my nerves. I wanted to cuss him out and kick his bike over, with him on it.

OK, so what happend the night prior, Saturday night: I went to dinner with Francis. ANOTHER friend who's energy is completely draining when I'm around them. She's really, really depressed, and all she talks about is this subject, she totally overtakes the conversation with this subject, no pause for nothin. Her face is always down, her voice is monotone, it's depressing to be around her or talk to her on the phone. I really try to be a good friend to her, I really do. She tells me she has other friends that she talks to on the phone for 4 and 5 hours at a time, about how depressed she is, how she wants to give up. I'm like, thinking, Well, then, why do you want to just go over the same shit with me? It was totally emotionally draining to hang out with her.

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WELL!

So what does all this mean? It means that I've really been appreciating my husband lately. I really like his mindset lately, his attitude on life, on love, I mean, the whole 2 days I was dealing with these two Emotional Klingons (I'm sorry, I think life's too short to be dealing with these kinds of people on a regular basis. I'm not writing either of them off forever, just going to curb the time I spend with them), Amor was at work, I hadn't seen him enough to really sit down and talk and stuff, I was thinking, I'd rather be hanging out with Amor. I'd really rather be doing that. It made me happy.

I was smiling about this the last 60 miles of my ride, it really carried me thru.

Also, there were lots of cows that I passed. One of them mooed at me - he was contemplating with confusion all these bicyclists passing his pasture. All the cows were staring at us, they didn't know what to think. It was the most hilarious thing I'd ever seen. I had 82 miles of this, it was great.

AND, I saw lots and lots of roadkill. Skunks, frogs, a bird, a turtle, some cats, ew. You name it, I saw it dead on the side of the road.

My bike continues to kick major bootie.

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So I've really been working on this mind over matter thing they keep talking about. The yoga helps the biking helps my anger helps my yoga helps my biking helps my marriage helps my biking helps my yoga, and so on and so forth. The mind/body connection is really doing it for me, lately. My brain really likes this, what I'm doing.

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