Last weekend I was getting burned out with all the biking. Well, I take that back, it's not the actual biking that I don't like. I actually really love being on my bike for 4, 5, 8 hours at a time, it really gives my brain a rest, I go to this really cool place. What bugs me is the whole atmosphere that surrounds road biking, it's so much frickin preparation. Plus the community of road bikers, well, they're a bunch of pussy elitists. I mean, come on, you're riding a friggin bike for Chrissakes. Road biking? You sit your ass on the saddle and pedal, that's pretty much it. I have to say that I like mountain biking much better, you do more things. Not just pedaling, you have to make minute mental calculations to avoid rocks, trees, roots, go up and down quick hills, bumps. They're two separate workouts, experiences.

So this weekend without biking was a welcome surprise. I actually do wish I was out on my road bike right now, I really do. But this will just make me more ready to go next weekend, my last weekend of training. Don't push myself too hard, though. This break I think is good for me. Maybe other people would say it's a bad idea to take a week and a half off my bikeriding before the MS15O, but it's what my body is telling me to do right now. I'm doing other things to push my body into shape.

It's still too cold and rainy.

I think today I'm going to do the same thing I did yesterday, yoga and turbo jam. Can you believe the yoga place is open today? It is!

Namaste.

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That chicken I made last night? It was so good! I love basmati rice made with just a little salt and butter and a few bay leaves. I was watching the rest of Alien while I was eating it, man that movie still scares me! When she's in the escape pod and is all relaxing in her that-70s-underwear and the alien reaches out for her suddenly, I actually jumped. It's one of my most favorite movies. Anneliese and I used to watch it together in college. I wish I had more cool friends like her. She's in Texas this weekend, and I was unable to go up to see her. I don't know when I'll get a chance to see her again. I sent her some cookies in the mail, but I don't think she got them yesterday, which is when I'd wanted them to arrive. Stupid postal service.

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I'm going to get my ass off this computer chair in a second and go do my turbo jam.

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Amor and I have our 5th wedding anniversary in 12 days! I can't believe we've been married 5 years. We're doing really well these days, I've really been working on my anger. The biking and the yoga have really helped me to expand, see the big picture more and more, let things go, focus on not fighting with the man I love, not get angry at little things. The less I allow myself to get that rush from getting angry, the less I'll crave it ----> it's a physical response to anger that I realize (have known for a while, now) I actually enjoy, like a junkie getting a fix, it's actually repulsive when I go over a play-by-play, second-by-second recollection of my actions & thoughts & feelings & physical response (including a very nice surge of adrenalin and other neurotransmitters involved with addiction) when in the thick of anger. I'll have this for the rest of my life. I have to talk about it from time to time.

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Dear Amor,

Two people walking through life together, sometimes we run, sometimes we crawl. What do we share? We share it, you know what it is. No one else does, do they? Not really, but they see the effects of it, on them, on us. We knew it back there in Bruce hall at UNT circa 1993, when you taught me to play Amazing Grace on the guitar and loaned me a dub tape of Prince's Sign O' The Times.

Love, Acorn

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