S acorn's diary
newest
archives
profile
notes
email
design
thebeloved
host
thecity
100
2008-11-16 - leftover fish tacos and "Heresy" by NiN

I'll just start out by telling you that I'm not in the greatest of moods.

I've been in a funk for a whole week now. I just got in a fight with my little sister. She's being really mean. And Ginger has to work until midnight tonight.

So all I got is my kitty cat.

Everything's been throwing me for a loop. The hurricane Ike experience was bad. I didn't have electricity or hot water for 11 days. Here's some pictures I took around my part of town.

*************************

So my marriage of 6 years, I will describe it as emotionally grey. So now, the breakup is the same way, for him anyway. He's a fucking robot when it comes to emotions. I get nothing from him. I tried to call him a few times a couple weeks ago. And when he'd call me back, I wouldn't feel like talking to him anymore and he'd leave a message, like, "Hey, I'm on a date with my girlfriend, so call me back." WTF? Yeah. Or, he'd be at work and you couldn't hear half of what he was saying.

He doesn't want to talk to me. I guess because he knows that I pent up my emotions about everything with him for so long because he wanted me to be an emotional robot, and I did it to make him happy (Oooo, was he fucking happy) and so if I *was* to talk to him, I'd just be a big ball of bitch.

So anyway, who cares. I'm divorced from him and he's happy with his girlfriend because he makes her good food and he takes care of her kid and she needs him. I never needed him. I think he always hated that about me.

*************************

I'm updating because my bestfriend (who lives in frickin Switzerland now) called me the other day (and didn't leave me a callback number! What a big turd.) asking me how I was doing and telling me *I* was a big turd for not updating in 56 days. I've been frickin *busy*, man.

Late September I went to Chicago for work. I didn't have much free time. I was able to take a cab to the downtown Bikram yoga studio and do a class in *Chicago*!! It was really cool. Cabs are expensive. Here's a picture of Chicago. I love that city. They have a cooler downtown than Houston, that's for damn sure.

******************************

I'm going to try to make the rest of this entry better...

I'M SO GLAD that Obama is our prez! Thank fucking GOD. What I like best is that the world isn't viewing us as such choads, now. It makes me happy. I could go on and on.

I took this picture of my downtown October 19, 2009.

I went on a bikeride with Mr. Maiden yesterday. It was frickin cold. It was, like, 45F. And windy. We rode about 30 or 40 miles. I took some pictures:

There's this house made of beercans, and this is in the front yard.

Then here's the sign for the Sabine skatepark.

Then on the Discovery Green park near the GRB, they've got this gazebo made out of license plates and broken mirrors. It's beautiful!

And we visited the George Bush Sr. monument, and saw this panel. Scary.

***************************

And may I sing my praises for my Ginger, who is my candle at night, my unbrella during the rainy days, and the joy in my heart, always. It just flows out of him, into me, so easily. He's my breath of fresh air. I do not know what I'd do without him. I'd have no life. I'd have no friends. I'm leaning on him for everything emotionally, and it's probably not very fun for him to always have to be dealing with all my emotional crap because this past week has been very hard, but the month or so before this past week was, actually really good for me emotionally, so maybe he won't break up with me - because he sees that I'm actually a cool person afterall, even though I'm an emotionally wreck sometimes because of the divorce. And I feel like sometimes other people don't think I should feel like that because *I'm* the one who did the leaving in the first place. It's all so crazy. In my head. Wait, I said I was going to make this a GOOD entry... sorry.

************************

I had it in my head that this entry was going to be kick ass and that I'd have all these beautiful pictures for you of myself from Halloween, but I've been drinking way too much lately and I feel like I look really fat so that's why there's no pictures of me.

Anyway, I'm not really making this a good entry, It has horrible flow and my writing's atrocious.

I watched the Wizard of Oz last night and it made me feel better.

Leave me comments! I'm sorry I haven't been a good diarylander lately.

4 (comments turned off. leave me a note?)

 
  go - go