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2009-06-08 - I sound like a chick

I went to see the Rents Saturday for the day to assess the situation. See, my dad's nuts, he's crazy, we think he's mentally ill. He's been his whole life, we think, just never clinically diagnosed. Anyway, his dr put him on the zoloft and melatonin. He's lost 20 pounds and he's not doing well mentally. He's reacting to the fact that he's losing his wife to dementia. He shaved his head. My mom saw him do it, she even helped him. When he was done, she was like, "Can we do my head next?!?" So he hid the clippers from her. I don't know how much longer my dad can handle it by himself. Yeah, my little sister lives in the same city and goes over to help out all the time. So it's not that bad. But it's bad. I had a very nice visit with them. My older sister was there, too. My little sister had to work.

I got the new Eels album, it's really really really good! You should get it. I'm serious.

I'm thoroughly thrilled about the new music that's been coming my way, lately. Depeche Mode, Cracker, Eels, Marilyn Manson (Richard listens to it all the time as we're drifting off to sleep together at night, so I like it by default), and another one I'm forgetting...I think that was it. And then one of our bartender friends gave me the Dandy Warhols (didn't like it, but maybe I just need to give it another chance) and this band called the Ravenettes, they're pretty good.

My mind is in such a good place now. I'm coming out of the fog. I'm working so much harder at my job this past month or two. I don't drink caffeine and I actually have more energy, for reals.

Pregnancy: seems like so many people I know are with child! My coworker (Foodie) is due in Jan, my ex husband's rebound wife is due around the same time. And then there's my lovely friend here at d'land who is, too! (You know who you are, chica, I'm so happy for you!) It's crazy!

We still haven't put up any pictures on the walls. We spend our weekends sleeping in and riding on Richard's motorcycle. Then the evenings we chill at the bar and see our friends. I quit drinkin on weekdays, it was way too hard on my constitution. I needed it 6 months ago, I don't need it so much now.

I haven't been doing Bikram yoga at all, I just don't need it right now. I've been waking up early before work and going to the gym, and then coming home and doing 3 or 4 sun salutations. My abs don't look that bad. My body responds to regular yoga fairly quickly. I gained about 15 pounds after the divorce, and I've lost 8 or 9 of that, so my self-esteem is much better lately. I hate feeling gross and fat. I'm in this weird limbo between my post-divorce fat clothes, and my pre-divorce skinny clothes.

I've been smiling more at strangers lately.

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