S acorn's diary
2011-06-28 - The weekend

Iím going to tell you all about the weekend. If you want to skip it (may I suggest you do), scroll down till you see *** where I tell you about 2 cool dreams I had recently.

Thursday night
My older sister flew in from Dallas, we picked her up at 9pm. Didnít really have much of an evening, but I did make her dinner. I made these lentil patties, they were awesome. You take dried lentils and soak them overnight in the fridge.† Drain them. Put them in the food processor with raw onion, garlic powder, olive oil, fresh cilantro, salt, ground coriander, and curry powder. You might have to add some water, as you want it the consistency of pancake or waffle batter. On a hot skillet, spoon ľ cup portions, and cook them like you would a pancake. Once cooked, you can dip them in sriracha or ranch dressing, or even mayonnaise is good. YUMMY!

Friday we got up at 4:30am and left at 5:30am to drive to SA. Itís a 225 mile drive, and we told my dad to expect us there at 9. My dad didnít know Lisa was coming, it was a surprise. Theyíve been not talking. Heís been a dick to her for her entire life, too. So we called him as we got closer, and agreed to meet at Starbucks near where they live. I told her, ďYou know this is going to take at least an hour for the trade-off, donít you?Ē So we mentally prepared ourselves to not leave SA until 10, and I was right. First, he took 30 minutes to drive there (they live 5 minutes away), then he hummed and hawed and the coffee shop and made me buy him a coffee. Then he insulted my appearance 4 times. (Earlier I said it was 3, but it was really 4. He ridiculed my boots, my skirt, my hair, and my eyes.) I told her, ďCímon, weíre outta here.Ē We all got in the car and waved goodbye to my dad. He was oblivious to the fact he upset me. All-in-all, it was uneventful, and she and I considered it a success.

It was 10am, and we had a 300+ mile drive ahead of us to get to Denton. We expected to get there around 3:30, which we did. It was really nice drive. My mom was SO happy to be with 2 of her (3) daughters. We listened to my music the whole way, we stopped at McDonaldís for lunch. It was great. When we got to Denton, it was exactly 3:30. My sisterís boyfriend arrived. We ate dinner at a noodle house. We came home and sat around, played with Lisaís dog. Then we went to sleep. I slept 10 hours! I was really exhausted.

We got up around 8:30 and my sister made us breakfast. My mom had some coffee. Her dementia isnít too bad, she can eat, use the facilities by herself, laugh, etc. But she forgets words. Like, she didnít know what a towel was. If you show her a towel, sheís like, ďOh yeah! A towel! I donít know why I canít remember that!Ē and so on and so forth with lots of different things. But it you ask her if she needs a towel, sheís like, ďA towel? I donít know what a towel is.Ē And then she laughs and says, ďI canít remember words.Ē She knows whatís happening to her, and itís heartbreaking. She told my sister that night sheís sorry that she has dementia and she hopes that her daughters donít get it. So sad. She also told her that if Dad dies before she does, she wants to come live with my sister in Denton.

After breakfast, we walked around the university near where my sister lives. I have lots of memories there as I went to school there when I was 16-18 years old, back in 1991-1993 Ė as a TAMS student. Itís this accelerated program for smart high-schoolers (back when I used to be smart) where you attend college classes with college-age students for 2 years, and when you graduate, you have your high school diploma and youíre a junior in college. Pretty sweet.† It was so good for me because I got to leave home at 16, my dad and I were clashing pretty bad at that point. If I had stayed at home, things would have probably gotten very ugly. But it didnít do me a bit of good, because I ended up failing out of college when I tried to go through the chemical engineering program at UT in Austin because I was hanging out with the wrong crowd.

On the campus, it was hot walking around. I was proud of myself for making everyone put sun block on before we left. We definitely needed it. Then we came home and sat around and watched the news and TV and played with my sisterís dog some more. Heís a riot. We went to Taco Cabana for lunch. Came home and sat around some more. I was actually bored, but in a good way. Iím never bored. Then we watched Toy Story 3. My mom liked that. This whole time, sheís just happy as a clam, smiling, holding our hands, just absolutely beaming. It was so good to get her away from my dad.

Then my sisterís boyfriend made this really good chicken dinner with rice and we had a salad. It was yummy. After that, we went to sleep. I managed to call my dad to let him know Iíd be driving my mom back on Sunday, and we discussed what time would work. He said either before 2pm, or after 5pm. He had to be at a job between 2 and 5. I didnít want to be there after 5, because that would put me arriving back to Houston at 9, too late. I decided Iíd be there close to 2 on Sunday. He was totally cool with that. We agreed to meet at Starbucks again. So, that meant I had to leave with my mom at 7:30 or 8am to get there around 1 or 2, in case I hit traffic in Dallas or Austin.

Got up at 6:30am, my sister made us breakfast again. Left promptly at 7:30am. I got gas at this place right by where my sister lives. Drove through Dallas and stopped at this Jack in the Box to use the facilities. We didnít buy anything. Then drove about 30 more miles and stopped at a convenience store to get some water and realized my wallet was missing! I asked my mom if she had seen it, and she was like, ďWallet? Whatís a wallet?Ē I looked everywhere and couldnít find it! I came to the conclusion that it must be either at the gas station in Denton by my sisterís place, or at the Jack in the Box where we stopped to go pee. As I drove back up the highway to the Jack in the Box, I called my sister to see if sheíd check the gas station, maybe I dropped it. No, nothing. And I couldnít find the Jack in the Box! I drove up and down the highway twice. It was nowhere to be seen. I felt p anicky and crazy! And my mom didnít know what was going on, because she couldnít understand ďMom, Iíve lost my wallet.Ē I tried to stay calm, and for the most part, I did. I kept telling her everything was fine. I decided Iíd just have to keep driving because I needed to keep that 1-2 oíclock meeting time with my dad. My sister got the phone #s for my credit cards for me and I called them all (while I was driving!) and cancelled them. I didnít have anything else in there except $5, my license, my car insurance card, and my museum card. All replaceable, but still, I was hoping no-one would steal my identity. Dammit! How could I have done something like this?!? Iím so careful about all my stuff in my purse all the time! I was beating myself up for letting my dad distract me Ė I was super nervous about meeting up with him. I just KNEW something was going to go down.

We kept driving and I decided to stop for water again. I had some cash. I made mom get out of the car and come with me so sheíd go pee. I have to go in the stall with her and put paper down on the seat (she doesnít know that this needs to be done), and make sure she has paper. We went pee, I bought a water. Came back to the car and opened the car door for my mom, AND MY WALLET WAS LAYING THERE ON THE PASSENGER SEAT! My mom had been sitting on it this whole time. She didnít know it, and didnít think to look, because she didnít know what was going on when I was telling her ďMom, I lost my wallet!Ē Isnít that just insane?!? I had to just start laughing, because I was so relieved and my mom was so happy and oblivious. Jesus Christ. Iím just glad nobodyís going to steal my identity.

Driving driving driving. I played my music, we got closer to SA, my mom was still happy, but I could tell she was anxious to get home. She was counting the miles and keeping track of the time. Weíd lost a little time back tracking to look for Jack in the Box, but I was speeding to make up for it. The universe must have been protecting me, because I didnít get stopped by the cops, and there were plenty along the highway.

I called my dad as we entered the city and let him know our ETA. Fine, no problem. Then I called him when we were 5 minutes away from the Starbucks, and he said ďWell, I donít know how long itís going to take me to get to Starbucks, I have to get my truck ready.Ē There Ė I know there was going to be a problem. Why the fuck isnít he just going to drive the car? Itís a 5 minute drive to the Starbucks. Then my dad calls me back to tell me that he needs me to get a pen and paper to write down 5 things for me to go to the grocery store, and can I drive mom to the house now. I said I donít have time to go to the grocery store, that heíll just have to go shopping later. (Hereís where heís a dick. He has no regard that Iíve driven my car 13+ hours this weekend, am very exhausted and tired. And Iím wise to him. My mom is aware sometimes. When I told her dad wanted me to go to the grocery store, she was like ďGrocery store?! But he said he was going to go grocery shopping on Friday!Ē So she know whatís up sometimes. Dad was trying to get me to do his errands that he was supposed to do over the weekend when mom was gone.) Then he calls me back to tell me ďI sure hope youíre not lying to me. I sure hope you really have to go to work.Ē Which wasnít really a lie. I was planning on checking my work email when I got home. By this time, weíre at the Starbucks, waiting for dad. We called him to let him know we were there. He said heíd be there soon. We wait 10 minutes. We wait 20 minutes. No Dad. Mom is visibly anxious. She must have asked me 5 times where he was. She kept turning around in her seat, looking at every car that drove by. There were lots of cars. It was 1:30 pm on a Sunday. He calls me to see if I want a sandwich from Subway, heís going to stop at Subway before he picks up mom. I told him no, thatís OK I donít really have time. 15 more minutes go by.† I called him to ask him if he just wanted me to bring her to the house, and before I could say anything, he starts screaming at me ďLET ME FINISH! LET ME FINISH! LET ME FINISH! My truck just broke down on the side of the road! Iíve almost got it working again. I started driving before it had a chance to warm up!Ē Meaning, itís my fault that his truck broke down. And I guess heís not stopping at Subway. At this point, Itís been 45 minutes that weíve been waiting for dad. Fuck this. I decided to just drive mom to the house. She has a key to let herself in the gate, sheíll be fine. I call him to tell him Iím driving to the house, and he starts lecturing me on where I should park once I get to the mailbox. Iíve been there before. I used to LIVE there for christís sake. I know how to fucking park. I get there, put my car in park, leave it running, get mom out of the car, open the trunk to get her bag, and start walking up the little hill from the road to the gate. I see my dadís ďtruckĒ - itís this huge semi. I didnít even know he owned a semi. Itís really loud (the engine) and huge, and as weíre walking up the little hill and opening up the gate, he miraculously gets it running, and pulls up 20 feet from us, and honks the horn, only itís more than a horn, itís this huge blaring horn from a semi and it scared the living crap out of me, and I felt my body jump, I almost fell out of my boots. I was scared at this point, and panicky. I just wanted to say bye to my mom and get the hell out of there. So I did. I said bye to her, gave her a hug, walked (very quickly) down the hill past my dad, past the semi, to my car. My dad is screaming at me, ďAcorn! ACORN! ACORN!Ē But I just turned and waved and said good bye to him and my mom, and yelled ďIíll call you when I get to Houston!Ē but they didnít hear me because the semi engine was too loud. All this took an hour. He is an impossible human being. I drove as fast as I could through the city, I was low on gas but I didnít care. I didnít stop for gas until I was way out of the city on my way to Houston.

Since this exchange, he has called me numerous times and left numerous messages and had my mom call a number of times and left a few messages as well. I havenít listened to them, nor do I intend to. Weirdly, Iím not really angry. Iím mostly sad because my mom has to live with that insanity all the time. I was hoping this trip was going to be something we could do more often, but sadly, itís not. Heís too much of an asshole, and I canít deal with that anymore. Iím a grown woman, I donít need his bullshit in my life. And this means not seeing my mom as well. Itís so sad, so sad for her. I donít really care about not talking to my dad anymore, or seeing him anymore. Itís an easy decision on my part. The hard part is deciding to not see my mom unless dad is not present.

We have a trip to Florida planned in July where my little sister is flying with my mom (My little sister lives in SA, but weíre at odds right now. She is at odds with my older sister as well. My older sister and I donít really talk to my little sister because sheís a conservative weirdo and yells at us all the time.) My older sister and I will meet them there, and weíve got other family there as well on my momís side. They refuse to allow my dad to visit. Nobody wants him around. Like I said, heís a scourge.

Doesnít all this sound like Iím making it all up? I just re-read all this, and it sounds insanely false. But itís not. Itís true. This has been ďnormalĒ for my entire life since Iíve been born, with my dad. Iíve finally decided, at 36 years old, to never see or talk to him again. Jesus.

Thanks for listening to me. I really had to get all that out.

***OK, so now Iím going to tell you about 2 dreams I had.

Thursday night dream
I dreamed I was part of Bjorkís entourage. I was new. The other members of her entourage were trying to show me the ropes at her mansion. They were all LA types, and I was feeling like a country bumpkin. They were trying to show me how to dress and do my make-up and what jewelry to wear. For a job, I got stuck with car-duty. I had to ride in the car with Bjorkís 8 childern (she had 8 little children under the age of 8 or 9), and I was sitting in the back seat, crammed in between 2 car seats. I had one kid lying on my head. It was crazy and hot and the car STUNK. I was thinking, ďHow then hell did Bjork get 8 kids?Ē Then I woke up.

Friday night dream
I was out camping with Richard with a bunch of other people. It was dark, and there was an outdoor shower. I started taking a shower when I thought nobody was looking, and then I looked down and saw my body was covered in leeches! I started running and screaming towards my tent (cuz Richard was in there), and as I was running, the shower water stream turned to follow me and was getting stronger, so the water was spraying on me the whole time I was running to the tent. I was brushing the leeches off my body and streams of blood were running down my skin all over, and it hurt where the leeches had been. I got to our tent and Richard was asleep he wouldnít wake up. Mc Chris was there on his hands and knees as I was trying to wake up Richard, and Mc Chris got in my face and was making kissing noises with his eyes closed and wanted to give me kisses! And all I could do was laugh and giggle because he was SO cute with his kissy noises and cute little body! I never did kiss him. I woke up.

Oh, and my older sister gave her blessings on my hair. She says it looks alright. Thank God.

I bought a metal kitty litter scoop today at PetSmart, it was $13. Those plastic ones keep breaking on me because the cats insist on peeing on the bottom of the litter box, so the clumping kitty litter bonds with the pee, then bonds with the bottom of the cat box, and you have to scrape it off. Sometimes this takes a lot of effort. I hate cat litter and cat pee and cat poo and car hair. But I love cats. Must love cats!

ALSO Ė my older sister started riding her bike! She went on a ride Sunday after I left with her boyfriend, and they rode 20 miles!! I am so extremely excited about this, you donít even KNOW. Iíve already told her weíre riding on this organized ride together in August, up near where she lives. We pinky swore on it. Itís going to rock. I donít care if she goes slow, I told her Iíd go as slow as she needs to. YAAAAAYYYYYYY! This is like, a dream come true. I love biking SO much, and to bike with my sister? Man, talk about good times. I canít WAIT.

Peace out.
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