S acorn's diary
2010-03-05 - Time. Who invented this shit?

Technically it's Friday morning, but for this entry I'm saying it's Thursday night.

Richard got mad at me tonight, said he's been mad the past 2 days because I've been ignoring him the past 2 days when I get off work. I tried to defend myself saying that I've been *so* bogged down at work these past couple weeks, it's starting to wear on me, & when I come home I just want to unplug to everything (unfortunately that included him, only I didn't realize I was doing that), and that "mentally distracted" might have been a better discriptor, but it didn't come out of my mouth like that at all. I'm not good at come-backs to confrontation until after the fact. I almost started crying when he was yelling at me, but managed to keep it inside. I know he's been super-stressed at work lately, and when that's happening, he's like a brewing volcano that can explode at any second with no warning. I had, unfortunately, not been anticipating this, and so wasn't prepared for his onslaught. Man, I just told him that DUDE you gotta communicate these things to me *before* you get mad, but that's hard cuz he didn't know it was upsetting him (my behavior) until it was too late and he was yelling at me. So it wasn't a very long spat, and we did sort-of make up, but he ended up going to the bar without me (it was 10 pm, and I was crashing hard), which made me feel awful.

There's another thing: our schedules are off: during the week I get up at 5 am and go to sleep around 10. He gets up at 8 or 9 am and goes to sleep around 1 or 2. That's a big time difference. I can't really go out during the week, and I think he would like to more than we do.

Plus I'm (now officially) training for the MS15O, so my weekends are 100% about riding my bike (it's just the next 5 weeks).

So we're not spending as much time together as we would like to, and that's frustrating for both of us! If we were just more efficient at communicating in a positive manner these frustrations, grieviences, and annoyances, it'd be cool, right?

Anyway, speaking of bikes - I took my beloved Marin to the bike shop after work and yes, it needs a new chain + cassette. We're looking at about sixty bucks. I can afford that. It's going to work so much better at gear shifting during hills, nice! We're riding 40 miles of hills (bigger, more hills than last Sunday) Sunday, so it's good I'm being preemptive about this. Nothing sucks more than having a failing bike during a group ride... out in BFE. No, I'm not gonna be that guy.

It's 2:30 am, I went to sleep at 10, but Richard woke me up at 1 after he got back from the bar. He was playing Hole (he had a convo with someone at the bar, they're going to see Hole at sxsw, no fair!) on his computer, he was a little tipsy, complaining how he wants to have sex with me more often, so I'm like that's cool! and then he fell asleep. Silly drunk boyfriend.

He just shifted in his sleep (I'm lying in bed with him) and hit my head with his arm, didn't hurt. He didn't even wake up.

My kitty's curled up next to me, giving herself a bath. She was asleep a bit ago.

They said my bike would be ready tomorrow, so I'm gonna pick it up on my way home from work. Then afterwards we might go see Alice.

I've got so much crap to get done tomorrow at work, it's insane.

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